Strikeforce Miami Picks

So tonight is the big night:  Strikeforce Miami.  I don't know a lot about most of the fighters, but here are my picks for a few fights that have the notable names. 

Oh, and I would be curious to know why there is so little hype in the Cyborg/ Coenen fight.  I mean, if Strikeforce is trying to draw in fans using female MMA a la Cyborg vs Carano then wouldn't you think we would have heard more about this fight?  Or maybe they only make a big deal when they have a sex kitten fighting... hmmm....

I digress...

On to my picks!!

Bobby Lashley vs. Wes Sims
I really am not a big fan of Wes.  I'm not gonna lie, he rubs me the wrong way.  That coupled with the fact that I respect Lashley for working his way up to top tier fighters pushes my decision to Lashely taking this win.  Granted, he is a WWE crossover which ticks me off, but there is something to be said about the fact that he is actually working his way to "A" fighters rather than pulling a Brock.

Melvin Manhoef vs. Robbie Lawler
There is no rhyme or reason as to why I am picking Lawler for this one, and I understand that he is the underdog on the fight.  I think the only real reason I have to pick him is I know who he is... hahahaha... yeah, scientific, I know.

Herschel Walker vs. Greg Nagy
Nagy better win this one.  He is 26 and his opponent is 47.  That alone should give him an advantage.  Please don't choke.

Cris Cyborg vs. Marloes Coenen
As I said yesterday, Cyborg is the female Chuck Norris.  I dare not say more.

Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis
My pick for Diaz is completely selfish.  I just want him to win so he can keep fighting and I can keep listening to his interviews.  I really think that instead of a knockout highlight reel we should get to see a "Best of the Worst Intervirew Clip" reel.  I mean, really it would be to his advantage.  You don't want to fuck with crazy.

Oh Pishay!! Jean Claude Van Damme is gonna fight too!

So apparently MMA has overtaken Scientology for the hottest Hollywood trend:

Yahoo! Sports is reporting this afternoon that Van Damme is trying again to get a fight in K-1 kickboxing.  His plans were foiled after attempting to arrange a fight in Vegas with a former Olympian, Somluck Kamsing.

Good Luck, Fella!

As for famous last words?  Enjoy:

"[It's] dangerous but life is short, I want to prove to young people and even to mature people that a man can go into some very strong physical effort and training, and also be a movie star."

Say What?? Strikeforce Miami Event Poster Edition

I am bored.  That usually leads to me getting pissy and/or silly.  In hopes of staying away from the pissiness I am going to captionize the Strikeforce event poster. 

Nick Diaz looks borderline temper tantrum... I mean I guess that's not too far off if you have ever seen an interview with him.  He seems slightly off kilter. Or... maybe he is a little angry because Cyborg is sporting a more impressive set of abs in this poster...

Herschel Walker has been doing his homework, obviously.

Chin down ::check::

Hands up ::check::

Scowl ::check::

Quick, take the picutre!!

Bobby Lashley looks mildly underwhelmed.  I'm sure it's hard to take a promotional picture without chairs and tables being thrown around in the background.  UFC is so much softer than WWE.  Puss.

I kind of equate Cyborg to the female Brazilian version of Chuck Norris.  I'm not going to say a bad word about her.  ::rah::rah::sis::boom::bah::

Three Cheers for Nate Marquardt!!

Way back on Monday (yeah, I'm a bit Slow) The Sharon Antcliff Foundation
named Nate the Great as their "True Warrior of 2009-2010"

The Mission of the Sharon Antcliff Foundation:
"Through a series of private events, auctions, and the generous donations of the general public, we feel that we can raise over $1 million each year that will go to help these families. Through our foundation, caregivers will get the rest and support they need. In some situations, we'll provide part-time, in-home care. In others, we'll pay bills that have gone unpaid due to missed work, or we'll fly in family who wants to come help, but can't afford it."

The SAF released the following statement via their website:
 "When Nate was named as the winner of the Tequilla Cazadores Spirit Award before his fight at UFC 102, he named SAF as the recipient of a $1,000 grant on his behalf. To date, that is still our largest single donation received. Nate's involvement has also allowed us to gain access we otherwise may not have had to the mixed martial arts community. There, SAF has found dozens of others willing to help us spread our message, seek donations, seek volunteers, and build relationships.

Perhaps most importantly, Nate is doing this all for us without asking for a thing in return."

For that Nate, I give you Three Cheers!!

::hurray::hurray::hurray::

Countdown To UFC 109 on Spike

Set your Tivos to Spike on Jan 30th at 12:30 to catch the Countdown to UFC 109: Relentless.

I mean really, who is up at 12:30??

Oh Well!!

Bucket List: The Herschel Walker Edition.

So here we go continuing the Herschel Walker debacle:

He was quoted by the Miami Herald as saying

``I'm not stepping into this sport, fighting for a belt, `Oh, I want to be heavyweight champion.' No."

Ooooookay.  So I'm guessing you're going against the grain here and getting into MMA to get the piss beat out of you with no title ambitions.  Good Call.

I kinda thought that the whole reason to join a promotion such as Strikeforce was to work to be the champ of your weight class.  Not just to go out and fight.  I mean you can just fight for ha-has at any bar (but I bet instead of a paycheck you would get a fine). 

Go ahead Mr. Walker, check "Participate in a Pro MMA fight" off your bucket list.

Look out figure skating, you're next!!

What a boob.

You May Have Noticed...

There is an underwhelming amount of info on here about the Strikeforce event tomorrow.  Well that is on purpose. 

I am throwing an e-Tantrum.

My stinkin' TV isn't working, so I don't get to watch it.  Bummer.  So, I have decided to get over it and just post a little on the event because I'm sure there are going to be some good fights.  I think I might have Josh dictate some stuff for he while the fights are going on, but we'll see.

So, Here is the run down on what is going to be going on tomorrow:

Photo yoinked from MMA Mania

Main Event:

Nick Diaz vs. Marius Zaromskis

Main Card:

Cristiane Santos vs. Marloes Coenen

Bobby Lashley vs. Wes Sims

Melvin Manhoef vs. Robbie Lawler

Herschel Walker vs. Greg Nagy

Under Card:

Jay Hieron vs. Joe Riggs

David Zitnick vs. Michael Byrnes

Craig Oxley vs. David Gomez

Sabah Homasi vs. John Kelly

Pablo Alfanso vs. Marcos Da Matta

Ryan Keenan vs. Hayder Hassan

I'll hit you up with my picks later... Stay Tuned.

Bail Me Out: Din Thomas

Photo Courtesy of TCPalm

We're digging back pretty far into the Archives this week:

Din Thomas made his UFC debut against BJ Penn waaay back in June 2001.   He ended up losing via TKO, but a debut agains BJ is nothing to turn your nose up at...

After his debut, Din went on to beat some pretty tough competition.  He now boasts wins over Matt Serra (majority decision), Rich Clementi (rear naked choke), Clay Guida (unanimous decision), and Jeremy Stephens (armbar) all under the UFC banner.  He ended up going 5-2 in the UFC before moving on to fight in some smaller organizations.

On October 30, 2007, shortly before his farewell performance in the UFC Din was arrested on a charge of "felony prohibited competitions" at his gym in Port St. Lucie, Florida.   

Way to go Coppers... you arrested a man who was holding "competitions" in his gym... with his students... in a MMA gym... have I mentioned this was in an MMA GYM??

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the puropse of an MMA gym is to teach MMA...

Yeah, that's right, you can't correct me because I am right.  All charges were dropped because ::SURPRISE:: since the participants in these competitions were students at the school, and the school's purpose was to teach them MMA they met  the requirements to be exempt from that law...

Wow, I think that one deserves a donut, Sir.

UFC Officially Announces First Outdoor Show

According to MMA Mania UFC 112 is Officially in Abu Dhabi on April 10, 2010.
Dana White:
"This is one of the biggest and most significant nights in the history of the UFC. UFC 112 is our first ever outdoor event and it is taking place in the hometown of our brand new partners, Flash Entertainment. We are very happy we could deliver what fans around the world will recognize as a stacked card featuring the sport’s biggest stars."

Photo Courtesy of MMA Mania

So far, the card is lookin a litte something like this:
*Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort
*BJ Penn vs. Frankie Edgar
*Matt Hughes vs. Renzo Gracie
Kendall Grove vs. Mark Munoz

It looks like Abu Dhabi is in for a good show.  I wonder if since they have a fancy Ferrari Tent they will be handing out cars Oprah style to the fighters...

That would be amazing! 

Yeah, it does get lonely in my crazy, upsidedown world.

Good News for Montreal...

Let's start the day off on a good note:

I'm sure something really funny is about to come out of his mouth...

According to Cage Potato Forrest and Lil' Nog will be fighting in Montreal... woo hoo!  Montreal is only like a 6 hour drive for ::this::girl:: which means it is within the Radius of Crazy that I am willing to drive to see the UFC. 
I really hope that Forrest has a better show here than he did against Silva.  It made me so sad to watch him run out like he did.  Not only did I have an insane bruise on my arm from slamming into the stupid stadium seating when I was jumping up to yell, but I was also unable to give Forrest a warm blankie and a hug.  I really think a warm blankie and a hug would have eased his achin' heart. 

I am looking forward to seeing this for surrre.

Get 'Em Girl!!!

Hot off the presses over at The New York Times:

"To the Editor:

In “A Leaner Budget for Lean Times” (editorial, Jan. 20), you call mixed martial arts, which Gov. David A. Paterson is proposing to legalize, “controversial.” In fact, the sport is not only legal in all but eight states, but if it should come to New York, our State Athletic Commission already has the mechanisms in place to ensure that such competitions follow the highest guidelines of health and safety.

Across the country, mixed martial arts matches do not represent something out of “Fight Club”; rather, they are akin to boxing in how closely they are watched by highly trained medical staff and referees. Just like boxers, mixed martial arts competitors receive comprehensive neurological and physical examinations before fighting. They are drug-tested and are placed in strict weight classes, and all matches must be approved by a regulating body to reduce the likelihood of a mismatch resulting in serious injury.

In New York, a medical advisory board would be established and charged with developing educational programs for medical staff and officials, so that health risks may be readily identified, minimized and prevented.

In terms of revenue for the state, a recent study found that one event in the New York City area, for example, would generate $5.3 million in event spending and a total of $11.3 million in total economic activity for the local economy.

Governor Paterson understands that this is a sport that when properly regulated will provide the citizens of New York with both financial and entertainment value while maintaining high standards regarding the safety and health of participants.

Lorraine Cortes-Vazquez

Secretary of State

Albany, Jan. 20, 2010"

Hell yes. 

Nicknames Uncovered: Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida

Lyoto "The Dragon" Machida

Photo Courtesy of Total Pro Sports

Let me start off by letting you all know that I am a huge fan of Lyoto Machida.  There are, however, two things that I wish Machida would consider in light of his new found superstardom...

1) Stop drinking your piss.  Pretty pretty please.  Morning breath is bad enough as it is, but you really have to add the smell of urine on top of it?  Ugh...

2) Unibrows are not sexy.  I am a fan of hairy men, but some man-scaping is needed badly here.  No amount of adorable can shine through that unibrow.

Now on to the nickname...

I believe that his nickname is a nod to his Japanese heritage.  Dragons are considered signs of wealth and good luck in most Asian cultures.  Dragons are also believed to be shapeshifters... mayhaps without knowing he is trying to incinuate that he is easily able to flow in and out of the many disciplines of MMA... or maybe not.

Now on to the fun part:  My Nickname for Machida...

Several years ago (before I knew much, if anything at all about MMA) I was watching an event with the bf.  I decided (after several glasses of wine) that "Lyoto Machida" was way too hard to say.  In that moment of drunken glory

Little Toyota

was born.

My Darling Speaks...

MMA Mania reported today that my favorite Gonzaga of all time thinks he has better striking than Junior dos Santos...

"I don’t think this fight will hit the ground, I believe I am a better striker and I want to prove that, I am not afraid to stand and strike with anyone. If the fight goes to the ground it is my place anyway. I am always going to be prepared to fight anyone and Junior is in my way to get back to title contention. I think I am very mature at this moment and I am in the top of my game I will be very well prepared for this fight. Of course, I will have that belt one day, you can mark it, I train a lot for this and I believe that will be sooner than later."

Why is it that my boys are so disillusioned?  I mean, I am rooting for Gabe 110% not because I think he's the better figher per se, but he just really needs this win or I think Dana is gonna give him his walking papers.  I would hate that!!

I mean, Gonzaga had a rockin head kick against Cro Cop, we all know that, but we all also know that Gonzaga's strength is on the ground.  We also know that Junior has quite heavy hands... Please don't blow this Gabe...

And on a quasi-unrelated note, I am curious to see what new sponsor is going to be emblazioned on Gabe's tush with the recent banning of Condom Depot...

I sure hope it is something far less homosexual... don't get me wrong, I love the gays, it's just I get a little jealous thinking that he might suddenly switch teams!  hahahaha.... 

Naw, that's a lie, he could never live without me!

*New Feature Alert* Back in the Day: Dana White

*New Feature Alert*

I made an executive decision today that I would start featuring some pictures from back in the day...  They are quite entertaining, I must admit!

Photo Courtesy of Middle Easy

Awww... back when Dana had hair...

and eyebrows...

Fighters Say the Darndest Things: Rampage

I love when Rampage talks, mainly because he is complely lacking a filter between his brain and his mouth... I could listen to him talk allll day long!!

This particular gem I had the privelage of hearing for myself... UFC 96: March 7, 2009 in Columbus, OH


 

"All I have got to say is there will be some black on black crime"

::Rampage::grabs::mic::and::

::throws::it::at::the::mat::

::Rampage::exit::stage::right::

*End Scene*

Irony, Oh Sweet Irony...

I was watching the video of Brock on Sports Center, and I saw one of his sponsors is Dymatize Nutrition, so I had to look a little deeper into this...

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Brock the same meat head who just almost ended his career due to poor nutrition? 
Um, yes.

So, he is obviously the best choice for promoting good nutrition, right?
Um, yes...?

Dymatize's slogan is "Building Better Bodies".  heh.  Yeah, I'm totally buying into that, I mean, Lesnar is in top physical condition, he hasn't spent much time at all in hospitals, right?
Um, yeaaaah.....

I guess this is a good fit... I mean, they have a catch phrase for their candybars protein bars that even DumDum Lensar can remember... "De-freaking-licious"

Classy.

Excuse me while I bathe in the lovely, warm irony... 

Some marketing exec. is holding his breath hoping no one notices this small oversight...  Good luck keeping your job, fella!

Amir is Quite Funny!

So I just found a few other reasons why the world should adore Amir.  His sense of humor is very similar to Forrest... Who is all for a book by Amir?  I sure am!

Okay, okay, let's re-focus: 

I was checking Twitter, and I saw another hysterical Amir quote, this one was from an interview he did for his own site, and he cracked me up...

You should read the interview...

But for you lazy kids, here are the highlights:

When asked "What was different about Baroni and Blackburn?" he resdponded: 

"Baroni wanted to kill me, and Blackburn is a gentleman, however still wanted to kill me."

When asked "Did Blackburn ever have you hurt?" he responded:

"No, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt. Except for the punches. yes those hurt."

When asked "When you were on TUF7 everyone categorized you as a kick boxer, then you submitted nearly all of your opponents and they started saying you’re a submission fighter. Now that you have shown your striking skills against Baroni and Blackburn people are saying you are a Muay Thai guy now? How would you describe yourself?" he responded:

"Kind of a loose cannon. The police chief is always yelling at me for dangerous suspect pursuit car chases, having shootouts in public places, and the yellow pages missing after perp interrogations. But I play by my own rules, nobody else’s. Wait, is that Lethal Weapon?"


When asked "There were a lot of critics and doubters talking about you after the Hendricks fight, now that you have bounced back convincingly against 2 very tough opponents, do you have anything to say to them?" he responded:

"What doubters? Did they say anything mean? I hate it when they say anything mean. Probably they were kidding."


When asked "What are the last 5 songs played on your iPod?" he responded:

"Some Euro techno mixes I like to do cardio to, probably some Tiger Army stuff, Raffi, and Beethoven. But not the Beethoven you’re thinking of, the death metal Beethoven."

So he defends Beethoven, but not Raffi?  hahaha... I love Raffi!!  Hey Amir, I have a Raffi VHS at home that I watch with my 6 year old, wanna come over?  I totally have some Capri Sun in the fridge!! (and vodka in the freezer)

Looks like Chael Sonnen needs a hug...

He even looks like a whine-ass...

I mean really, Anderson Silva seems like one of the most respectable, likable fighters out there.  With all of the tool boxes in the UFC right now, he calls out Silva?  REALLY?  What about Brock, or Kos, or Melvin Guillard... How are you going to call him out like this Mister Cranky Pants??  Here is a lovely quote from his interview on MMAWeekly Radio:

"I would imagine, who knows what Anderson's doing. At the end of the day, who cares. If he wants to leave the division, leave the sport, who cares. Beat it, nobody tunes in to watch him anyways, and his little fake 'I don't speak English. You want me to let you in on a secret, Anderson Silva speaks perfect English. He just has such a low amount of respect for you and all the rest of the media that he pretends he doesn't. I've had conversations with Anderson Silva in perfect English, and on top of that he's so boring to listen to that he and his rocket scientist manager, Ed Soares, who is also about as exciting as watching grass grow, have decided that Ed is better on the mic than Anderson, so just let Ed do the talking."

Apparently Chael hasn't talked to me lately, or he would know that I enjoy Anderson Silva, and I care what he's doing.  Um, little known fact:  I am kind of a big deal.

And I have a feeling that Chael is a little jealous... me must not know accents are sexy.  What a silly silly little man...

It would rock my socks if Silva and Sonnen fought and Silva knocked him out... well I'm not gonna lie, I would be okay with a submission too...

Wow, Talk about innovation...

So, I'm catching up on news that I missed this weekend, and I saw there there was a change in the format for the upcoming season of TUF.  I have to admit, I was mildly underwhelmed...

The big news (according to MMA Mania) is that instead of the typical 16 and 32 person formats they are going to use a 28 man line up.

Wow...

UFC 109... What we know so far:

(Photo:MMA Mania)

UFC 109: Relentless 

Where: Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas, NV
When: February 6

Main Event:
Mark Coleman vs. Randy Couture
Main Card:
Nate Marquardt vs. Chael Sonnen
Mike Swick vs. Paulo Thiago
Demian Maia vs. Dan Miller
Matt Serra vs. Frank Trigg
Prelims free on Spike:
Justin Buchholz vs. Mac Danzig
Melvin Guillard vs Ronnys Torres
Prelims:
Rob Emmerson vs. Phillipe Nover
Phil Davis vs. Brian Stann
Tim Hague vs. Chris Tuchscherer
Rolles Gracie vs. Mostapha Al Turk

Nicknames Uncovered: Spencer "The King" Fisher

Spencer "The King" Fisher...

Okay, so I am going to assume that he was going for something powerful... majestic...

But maybe, just maybe he was channeling his inner bird.

I suppose kingfishers have some qualities fighters have too:

* They are territorial

*Monogamous (ususally)... um.... okay, so I don't know that all fighters are monogamous or even want to be, but Spencer Fishers wife is a fighter, so she could totally beat the hell out of him if he wasn't. 

*Warriors who saw kingfishers on the way to battle should return home according to superstition.

I know, I know, I make a weak argument, but it is such a silly nickname.  Out of all of the preditorial birds in this world he picked the brightly colored, mild mannered, barely omnivorious bird... the Kingfisher...

Hey Spencer, hindsight is a bitch...

Fight Announcements...

So there have been a butt-ton of fight announcements lately, and I am waaay too lazy to keep up on that, but here is my half-assed attempt at the rundown.

For real live news you can check the regualrs...

MMA Mania

MMA Junkie

Cage Potato

Sherdog

Watch Kalib Run

I am far too lazy busy to keep up on all of this!

Awww... GSP is so stinkin cute!

I got into work and had my grrrr face on.  My car that I JUST got doesn't run.  Arrrggghhh!!  So, I went to Gals Guide to MMA in hopes of getting my smile on...

Well, they have a video up of GSP with an unidentified adorable child...

You must watch it.  You must.

I have been AWOL... Sorry.

I have been pretty out of the loop as of late... my dang car decided it was done with the whole driving thing, so that turned my life pretty upside down.  Good News though!  The Busted Car Debacle has come to an end, which means my bloggeriffic wonderland will be revived.

I know I have a lot of catching up to do, but I have to start somewhere, so let's start with my future ex husband.... Patrick Cote.

Cage Potato reported this afternoon that Patrick Cote thought he had the Silva fight pretty much under control... Oh, you beautiful beautiful fool. 

I mean, yeah, you did make it in to round three with The Spider... but your performance was quite underwhelming...

So here it is, directly from the horse's mouth:

"If I fight him again I think I am going to do the same thing,

I think I learned that if you’re not scarred of him right away

you have a good chance to win and that’s what I did.

I was there in the first second of the fight, I took the centre of the octagon

and I showed him I wasn’t scarred of him."

I would be happy to sit down with Patrick (yeah, we're on a first name basis... in my head) and let him know a few things:

~No one accused you of being afraid of Silva

~Most people aren't afraid of Silva. 

They do, however, feel a myriad of emotions such as

*respect

*respect

*respect

oh... and respect.

~Silva has found the fountain of booty whoopin and drinks from it daily (no, not Lyoto Machida style)

No one can quite figure out how to handle him

~And Lastly, not being knocked out or submitted doesn't mean you had the situation under control.  It just means you hadn't lost... YET.

Having said that, keep talking Patrick, I will never turn down an opportunity to get more of you!

Deja Vu: Sam Stout vs. G.I. Joe

Sam Stout has quite the resemblance to G.I. Joe.  Don't believe me?  Scroll Down....

G.I. Joe

Sam Stout

Hair:

Hair that comes to a point in the middle of the forehead...

::check::
::check::

Eyes:
Icy Blue.
::check::
::check::

Eyebrows:
The manly arch.
::check::
::check::

Chin:
The oh so manly cleft.
::check::
::check::

Physique:
Warrior baby...
::check::
::check::

In conclusion, Sam Stout is a real live G.I. Joe.

Fighters Say the Darndest Thing: Dana White

Now we all know how easy it would be to fill a book with outspoken, yet hysterical quotes that have left the mouth of Dana White, but here is one of my favorites...

"You can't vote him off, you have to beat him off..."

I think I love it so much only because he didn't know what he said until he saw the TUF 8 Fighters trying not to laugh in the middle of his dramatic speech...

I sincerely hope Dana never develops a filter between his brain and his mouth.

I couldn't resist posting this...

I am a huge fan of Jon Fitch... there is that one clip they alway play of him looking like the evil Inspector Gadget.  You know, where he has big ol' chicklet teeth... (Fitch has the mouth guard in) 

Well anyway, I love it.

I saw this pic on MMA Mania and was twitterpated by our dashing Mr. Fitch... the only problem is stinkin Kos was in the bottom corner. 

Problem Solved.

hmmm... I make a nice addition to ATT, wouldn't you agree??  It's just a bummer that this is the closest to Fitch I will ever get.

Awww... It's a Baby....

I'm hoping that this scene was slightly reversed earlier today...

Shogun announced today on his Twitter:

"Maria Eduarda was born today at 8 am Brazilian time =) She's beautiful and it was such a moment !! Welcome princess "

Congrats Poppa Shogun!!

Bail Me Out: Brock Lesnar

Today I was getting my fill of celebrity gossip on TSG when the mood hit me to find my next "Bail Me Out" candidate. 

Since the MMA world is all abuzz over what is to be of Brock's future, I decided to delve into his past...

Here is what I found:

"Brock Lesnar, the World Wrestling Entertainment champion, was once arrested for illegally possessing steroids, though the felony charge against the 26-year-old athlete was dismissed four months after his January 2001 arrest. Lesnar, pictured in the below mug shot, was popped by Louisville Division of Police detectives after receiving and opening a parcel that cops said contained a "large amount of steroids." Lesnar, a 295-pound former college wrestling champ, was in Kentucky training at a WWE facility. Hit with a trafficking in controlled substances charge, Lesnar was exonerated when tests showed that the seized pills were not, in fact, steroids. While a Louisville detective told TSG that the material was some kind of growth hormone, Lesnar's defense attorney, Scott Cox, characterized the confiscated pills as a "vitamin type of thing." According to Cox, officers seemed "very apologetic" when lab results cleared Lesnar. It is unclear how investigators concluded that the parcel sent to Lesnar may have contained illicit substances."


I'm willing to bet that Brock described his parcel as containing "vitamin type of thing"s... it sounds technical enough to come from the beast himself...

Oh Brock, how silly of us to even think of accusing you of using steroids... it's not like you are the size of a house... it's not like your neck is as big around as a storm drain... our bad.

Deja Vu: Brock Lesnar vs. Stretch Armstrong

At first, I just thought these two looked strikingly similar, however I have found several similarities....

*Both rock the black manties

*Both were conceived in 1976

*They have similar IQs

*After extentended periods of use their guts both start leaking

::zing::

I'm sorry, that was distasteful... get well soon Brockie Poo :)

This has got to be a bad joke...

I suppose this fight match- up was released in the wake of Poppa Shamrock's passing to lighten the mood a bit...

Come on, really??  This is going to be an entertaining fight simply becuase of the visual.  I am channeling my inner Ralphie May with this one...

Matchmakers knew this would be a great match up... you stand these two fighters side by side and you get the number '10'!  Perfect Score!

The should bill this as Stefan "The Bean Pole" Struve vs. Roy "Baked Beans" Nelson

I suppose if Emmanuel Yarborough can win by smothering (they labeled it as "other" submission)... so can Big Country!

Sad Sad News from The Lion's Den Today....

Bob Shamrock
1942-2010

I found this pic on Knuckle Pit... you should check their site out, they have a pretty nice article on Bob Shamrock-- just click the link.

Bob Shamrock passed away yesterday afternoon from complications due to diabetes.  He was a  very  generous man who opened his heart and his home to countless troubled children.  Men like him are hard to find and harder to lose.

For full details, check out Ken Shamrock's website...

hahahaha.. Oh Tito, what a pretty boy.

Look at this picture without laughing... I dare you.

You know how you hear about those guys complaining about having to hold their better halves' purses?  Well look at what Tito got (what I can only assume is) coerced into...  that cute little purse doesn't seem so bad now, does it fellas?

Tito looks like he stroked out, and is slighty cross-eyed.  One could argue based on this photo that he doesn't have the facets about him to make that decision for himself....

True colors mayhaps???

You have established dominance Jenna, you may now return his balls.

::LIGHTBULB:: Fighters Say the Darndest things...

Today's Fighters Say the Darndest Things Quote comes to us from one of the Pioneers of the sport...

Photo Courtesy of Gracie Academy

Royce Gracie:
"A black belt only covers two inches of your ass. You have to cover the rest.”

Touche Mr. Gracie, Touche....

New Feature: "Say What??"

Upon my merry travels on the interweb today, I decided that captions are funny...

Well, they can be....  So I have decided to captionize some pics from MMA that tickle my pickle...
feel free to send your additions too...

Buckle your seatbelts, we're ready to go....

Someone has been rubbing their sock-clad feet on the carpeting again... I dare ya to touch the door knob ::ZAP::

Me man.  You woman.  Bedroom.  Now.

Whaaa... Where's th- puddin'?  I like chocolate puddin.

Tattoo of the Week: Jeff Monson

I am feeling quite blue today, so to cheer me up I haev searched the internet for the most random groupings of tattoos on fighters... 

It was a toss up between Monson and Yvel, but Monson won because of these pictures....

Let's play I spy...

I spy with my little eye

... a black cat in front of a full moon

... a skull and crossbones

... a Power Puff girl

... Asian inspired something or other

... a tattered flag

... a hand print

... intestine inspired gunk

... 2 stars

... tribal inspired something or other

... irony

::sigh:: I feel better now.

Future Ex- Husband ::Part Two::

::purrrr::

That is my happy noise :)

Patrick Cote shall return in Montreal against Alan Belcher on May 1st...

So, you may be asking yourself "Self, why on earth is the word Montreal bolded?"  Well, let me answer that for you...

Montreal is well within driving distance for ::this::girl::

Patrick Cote has been out since UFC 90 (October 2008) ::tear:: when he tore his meniscus in his fight against Anderson Silva.  He has since had surgery to repair the tear and hopefully has made a full recovery.

Ouch... I would have gladly tended to those wounds...

::sigh::

My main concern is that most fighters do experience some ring rust after long spells away from fighting.... Let's face it, 19 months is quite a long time!

Alan Belcher has been making quite the show as of late... that coupled with the fact that his autograph is nestled comfortably in my ::ahem:: little collection of autographs gives him somewhat of an edge...

Let's ignore the fact that the last time I gave someone points for me owning their autograph they nearly had their arm snapped in two...

So, the long and the short of it:
My future ex husband sure has his work cut out for him!!

Future Ex-Husband Alert :)

Gabe Gonzaga will fight Junior dos Santos on March 21st on Versus!!

*In my world, the article could end here, but I shall continue...*

So... who can guess who my future ex husband is?  (Let me explain, he is going to be my ex husband becuase he doesn't speak English well, I don't speak Portuguese at all.  However, for the first year I don't think that will matter ::wink::)

MMA Mania reported this afternoon that my dearest Garbanzo Bean will be fighting Junior dos Santos on Versus. 

So far the card is looking something like this:

Jon Jones vs. Brandon Vera

Junior Dos Santos vs. Gabriel Gonzaga

John Howard vs. Anthony Johnson

Clay Guida vs. Sean Sherk*

Spencer Fisher vs. Duane "Bang" Ludwig*

Eliot Marshall vs. Vladimir Matyushenko

Chase Gormley vs. Brendan Schaub*

* Not officially announced

::HAPPY::DANCE:: 

Jon Jones (607 Baby!-- He told me so!), Brandon Vera and Gonzaga all in the same night... I am a happy girl!

Wrapping Fight Night 20 up... PAYDAYS!

MMA Mania has reported on the paydays for our beloved fighters in Fight Night 20:

Gray Maynard -- $40,000 ($20,000 to show, $20,000 to win)

Nate Diaz -- $48,000
Maynard defeated Diaz via split decision

Evan Dunham -- $18,000 ($9,000 to show, $9,000 to win)
Efrain Escudero -- $15,000
Dunham defeated Escudero via submission (armbar) in round three

Aaron Simpson -- $22,000 ($11,000 to show, $11,000 to win)
Tom Lawlor -- $10,000
Simpson defeated Lawlor via split decision

Amir Sadollah -- $30,000 ($15,000 to show, $15,000 to win)
Brad Blackburn -- $13,000
Sadollah defeated Blackburn via unanimous decision

Chris Leben -- $60,000 ($30,000 to show, $30,000 to win)
Jay Silva -- $6,000
Leben defeated Silva via unanimous decision

Ricky Story -- $10,000 ($5,000 to show, $5,000 to win)
Jesse Lennox -- $7,000
Story defeated Lennox via unanimous decision

Rory MacDonald -- N/A
Mike Guymon -- N/A
MacDonald defeated Guymon via submission (armbar) in round one

Nick Lentz -- $7,000
Thiago Tavares -- $15,000
Lentz vs. Tavares ruled a majority draw after three rounds

Rafael dos Anjos -- $16,000 ($8,000 to show, $8,000 to win)
Kyle Bradley -- $8,000
dos Anjos defeated Bradley via unanimous decision

Gerald Harris -- $12,000 ($6,000 to show, $6,000 to win)
John Salter -- $6,000
Harris defeated Salter via technical knockout (strikes) in round three

Nick Catone -- $14,000 ($7,000 to show, $7,000 to win)
Jesse Forbes -- $6,000
Catone defeated Forbes via split decision

Fight of the Night — Aaron Simpson and Tom Lawlor

Submission of the Night — Evan Dunham
Knockout of the Night — Gerald Harris

And cranky pants Diaz says he doesn't get paid enough to cut weight... I'll cut as much weight as you want for $48,000!!!

Bail Me Out: Junie Browning

Wow, what a tough tough fella...

Nice bannana hammock speed racer, you wouldn't last 2 minutes in Camp Cupcake!

According to ReviewJournal, Mister Drunken Rage himself was arrested back on October 7, 2009 for spazing out after trying to kill himself...

He was being treated in St. Rose Dominican Hospital, Siena campus for a suicide attempt, and he went absolutely bezerk on the nurses attending to him.  He shoved a female nurse, kicked a male nurse, and punched another male nurse.  He was also carrying on and screaming

""Do you know who I am? I will kill you and rape your family" 

What a man...

Browning reportedly took 16 pills of Klonopin, an anti-anxiety drug in an attempt to "harm" himself.

Let's just take a quick look at the side effects of his drug of choice shall we??

According to to RXList.com the psychiatric side effect are"

"Confusion, depression, amnesia, hallucinations, hysteria, increased libido, insomnia,

psychosis,(the behavior effects are more likely to occur in patients with a history of psychiatric disturbances).

The following paradoxical reactions have been observed: excitability, irritability, aggressive behavior,

agitation, nervousness, hostility, anxiety, sleep disturbances, nightmares and vivid dreams"

You're kidding me, right???  What doctor in his right mind would give this looney toon something that would only amplify his crazy! 

Mayhaps he practices in the same office that Octomom conceived her spawn...  I'm just sayin'

Efrain Escudero is ooookay.

Last night I neglected Twitter, but good news kiddies...

"Hey guys out the hosiptal nothing broke lil mess up tendenes. I will be back soon now in hungry!! And expect and Evan vs Efrain 2!!! "

I thought for sure we were going to get some nasty breakage pics... thank goodness he had the sense to tap when he did!!

The Recap: UFC Fight Night 20...

So last night I learned a valuable lesson in time management.  Apparently, I should start posting my predictions more than 1 1/2 hours before the fights... my fingers aren't nearly swift enough to get it all up there.  I pussed out on the last 2 predictions due to time constraints. 

However... Way to go Josh on coming out of left field with that draw prediction!!

Gray Maynard vs. Nate Diaz  **
Split decision
(29-28)(27-30)(29-28)

Evan Dunham vs. Efrain Esucdero
Tapout due to Armbar
*$30,000 Submission of the Night Award

Tom Lawlor vs. Aaron Simpson  *
Split Decision
(29-28)(28-29)(29-28)

Brad Blackburn vs. Amir Sadollah *
Split Decision
(29-28)(28-29)(29-28)

Chris Leben vs. Jay Silva  **
Unanimous decision
(30-27)(30-27)(30-27)

Jesse Lennox vs. Rick Story
Split Decision
(30-27)(30-27)(28-29)

Nik Lentz vs. Thiago Tavares  *
Majority decision draw

Mike Guymon vs. Rory McDonald  **
Tapout due to Armbar

Kyle Bradley vs. Rafael dos Anjos **
Unanimous decision
(30-27)(30-27)(30-27)

Gerald Harris vs. John Salter *
3rd Round TKO

Nick Catone vs. Jesse Forbes
Split Decision
(28-29)(29-28)(29-28)


Joshy went 8-3 last night
I went 5-4 last night with 2 no guesses

Psh, not too shabby for lack of any foundation in my guesses, eh?

UFC Fight Night 20 Results...

"We are liiiiiive"

Oh Mister Buffer, you give such great voice...

Amir Sadollah vs. Brad Blackburn

Mario Yamisaki... the Mexican Japanese man... oh pishay!

Round 1

I love::hate:: the euro-mullet, Amir.  I wonder if he came out to Abercrombie butt sex music... hmmm...

Oh, and we just heard about a bad shoulder.  Way to throw that in there early so when he loses he has an excuse. 

Amir was in Holland for a while, that would explain the euro-mullet.  Aha!

::LETS::GO::AMIR::LETS::GO::AMIR::LETS::GO::AMIR:: Yeah, I chant with the crowd.  Don't judge.

Hmmm... Blackburn was a short fella.  Mayhaps he is compensating for ::BAM:: (Amir just rocked him) something by being in such an aggressive sport.  hahaha... sorry, that was a little ADD of me.

Round 2

The first Twitter plug of the night, it's officially on. (@Mepisces)

This is delightfully similar to rock em' sock em' robots... you may continue.

Amir looks like he has cleaned up his game a bit... that is good news for my prediction!

Psh... way to break em up mister!

I wonder if Amir tends to his own wounds post-fight.  I mean, he is a nurse.... 

::clack::clack::clack::

Round 3

Rogan sounds like he may have been drinking a bit... he can barely say "Blackburn" 

::KAZOW:: I hope Blackburn was hungry for a knee!!!

In the words of Rogan "He's hurt badly, he's hurt badly... hahaha silly Rogan!

::bam:: Amir is just spanking him in this last round!

::clack::clack::clack::

hahahahaha... silly Goldberg "There is no doubt that Blackburn and Sadollah have gone the distance"... no kidding?  What gave that gem away?

Official Decision: (30-27)(30-27)(30-27) Amir Sadollah

::woot::woot::

Official Score: Joshy: 0  Me: 1

hahahaha... gotta love Rogan's shameless plug that he loooves him some weed!  So, we're talking that battle of the nursing home studs will be potential contenders, eh?  I sure hope not.

Tom Lawlor vs Aaron Simpson

Kevin Mulhall?  He looks like he should be teaching biology, not reffing.

Round 1
Lawlor comes out a' swingin'
yowza, these men are exchanging!  ....And Simpson runs away.
daaaaaammn.  Lawlor is beating Simpson up, but Simpson refusees to quit!!
this has to end soon, I mean, there is only so much a man can take.  Geez o'Pete!
hahahaha... badly hurt... that's my favorite Joe!  And Dr. Mike with comments of his whole nervous system being rocked.  How cerebral of you.
::clack::clack::clack::
Gotta give Simpson the "you got balls" award.

Round 2
Dang-flabit.  It looks like Simpson is recovered.
They hit the mat for the first time in the fight, Lawlor gave up his back... and... they're up!
Wow, Lawlor listens to his corner pretty well.  This round is close!
GET HIM!  BAM! ::well that was mildly underwhelming::
::clack::clack::clack:
guillatine attempt... FAIL

Round 3
These guys just want to unload on eachother, I love this! hahaha... that sounded so dirty!
::slam:: damn it.
::SLAM:: Woo Hoo.
Kimora by Lawlor.. FAIL
Simpson has his back, this could be bad.. but it's not.
And Simpson has the back again.  Lawlor is just gassed. 
Mother of Pearl!  What happened to the Lawlor of round one??
::clack::clack::clack::

I think Lawlor lost by split decision, we shall see.

Official Decision: (29-28)Lawlor(29-28)Simpson(29-28)Simpson

Simpson by Split Decision

Yay for Joe standing up for fighters.  And shame on the crowd for boo'ing. 

Official Score: Joshy: 1  Me: 1

Evan Dunham vs Efrain Escudero

 Okay, so who else instantly thinks "Dun-ham... dot-com" when they type Dunham?  What?  Really?  No one??  Come on!

Round 1

::smack:: We all know that that leg kick was more superficial tham damaging, but I still wouldn't like one thank you very much!

::ayeayeayeayeayeayeaye:: hahahaha.... who ever that was just made my night!

Dunham is badly hurt!!  Whoa!!!! Efrain is pretty dominant...

Guillatine by Escudero.... they are a jumbled homo mess right now!

Joe:"It's hard to see what their grips look like there"

Mike: "Yeah, but either way it can't be good for Dunham

Joe: "hahahaha... yeah, if that isn't the understatement of the year..."

AWWW.... What playful banter!

::clack::clack::clack::

Round 2
Dunham looks much better this round, what a switch-up from round 1!
Now Goldberg is talking up Efrain's personality... how relevent.
Damnnnn... Efrain is on the bottom getting all beat the hell up!
Dunham has the body triangle.  I am not envious of Efrain.
::clack::clack::clack::

Round 3

Apparently, Dunham has quite the ground game.  Who'da thunk?

Escudero will get his arm snapped!!!!

HE TAPPED!!!!!!  DAMN!

Official Decision: Evan Dunham wins by Tap Out due to an Arm Bar

Escudero left before the winner was announced.  So either he is pissed that he is no longer undefeated, or his shit is snapped!

Official Score *Still*: Joshy: 1  Me: 1

Nate Diaz vs. Gray Maynard

The more Nate talks, the less I like him. ::grrrrr:::

Round 1

Gray has his hands down.... hmmm... I'm not so sure that he should do that with such a reach disadvantage

Oh Pishay, Nate is already mouthing off

I think Nate stuffs his cup.

Gray really better knock him out of he keeps those hands down so low...

hahahaa... "Come on Bitch"... way to go Maynard!

::clack::clack::clack::

Round 2

I have to say, I am getting annoyed with Diaz trying to hold Maynard's hand all night.

hahaha... ::bam:: Right to the dome

knee to the face!! Beat him up!  What on earth!  Apparently, he's not taking any chances anymore with Nate's ground game.

Some more loving words for the mouths of these two upstanding gentlemen. riiiight....

::clack::clack::clack::

For the record, I just saw more intensity in the staredown as they were walking away than I saw all round.

Round 3

hahahaha... head kick.  I think I have seen a better reaction from a mosquito bite!

I hear the crowd booing... Oh, how I detest booing.

Okay, so I don't like this fight anymore.  They are talking waaay too much with their mouths and not nearly enough with their hands.  There is no need to call names fellas, just punch eachother in the face...

I have grown tired of these shenanegans.  I wouldn't be sad if this fight ended now.

::clack::clack::clack::

::yawn::

Official Decision: (29-28) Diaz, (30-27)Maynard,  (29-28)Maynard

Gray Maynard by Split Decision

Okay kiddies, for the unaird bouts you will have to go to far more credible sites, I am off to bed.  All of those folks don't have to be up in 6 hours for work :(  Or maybe they do.  I don't know... all I know is it is time for me to go pass out!

You can check back tomorrow for everything else!