And now for my newest feature...

UFC Takes Over the Hoosegow!!

I'm going to start off this newest feature with one of my favorie meltdowns in my quasi-short following of the UFC...

Mister Rampage Jackson, you have the right to remain silent.  Fortunately for us, you lack the ability :)

Rampage, you lack a certain intensity in your eyes... you're not "smizing" (for you non-Tyra freaks, that's smiling with your eyes).  I think next time you should think more about connecting with the camera, and not worry so much about what is going on around you. 

hahahaha... okay, I'll stop, I just think if he would have spent a little more time watching ANTM and a little less time having a mental breakdown his mug shot would have been prettier is all...

So, here's the low-down:

Rampage was driving on a "flat tire".  I, however, beg to differ.  I believe he was driving on no tire.  Have you guys seen the pics?  Let me show you...

Yeah... that is definately NO tire.

Apparently, he hit a couple three or so cars, and ran from cops... ya know, all that stuff you see on every episode of Cops. 

...And we all know how Rampage likes laying low and flying under the radar, so we can assume he was drive a low-key car.  You know, something that the fans, press, or oh, I don't know... COPS would never guess he was driving.  Let's take a looksie shall we?

Yup.  Completely incognito!  Mayhaps this is a stroke of genius though... hmmmm...

I think I get it now.  The lifelike Rampage on the side of this modestly sized vehicle acted as a decoy so the real  Rampage could sneek out of the drivers side... riiiiight?

DRATS.

Foiled Again!!

Luckily for our newest ghetto ninja in training, your favorite ego-maniac (and mine) Your Majesty Dana White hopped the first plane to Cali to bail him out...

I'm pretty sure my boss wouldn't hop a plane to resuce me unless it held a promise of a mini-vacation in the tropics...

You lucky, lucky unstable man, you....