We arrrre Liiiive: UFC 109

First Up:
Guillard vs. Torres

Round 1:
Hahahaha... Jungle Boy.  That is pretty classy, I'm not gonna lie.
Boo-- I don't like blondie. (WooWoo Arianny!)
Torres looks like he's trying to do the flying Russian.  And the flying russian takes douchy down!
Torres took him down again.
But guillard went all ninja on him.
Flying knee!  Looove it!
And I believe that was a dancing back fist, not a spinning back fist.
Damn, knee to the face by Guillard, but he got taken down for the third time tonite!
BAM BAM BAM.  I'm loving the exchange
::clack::clack::clack::

HAHAHAHAHA... Ice in the Octagon.  Joe just play by played the ice pick up.  They just did a replay in slow motion of the ice bag breaking.  He is so intense about this dang ice. 
"The zambonie is off the ice" hahahaha... WTF Mike??

Round 2:
Way to go, thrown him around!
Stop it Melvin.  I'm gonna tell your Momma.
Sorry, I'mfinishing up the predictions.  I'm being boring.
Melvin is married??  Who would do that??
Kimaura his shit Torres!!
::CLACK::CLACK::CLACK::

Round 3:
I love me some Brazillian booty!
Guillard's ass sponsor hs peeling off... mayhaps he tooted something fierce?
They keep talking about Melvin's wrestling background, and yet he is being taken down at will. 
I hate that show boating.  Keep beating him Torres!!
::clack::clack::clack::

Unanimous Decision: Guillard

Bad decision.  Boo.

Danzig vs. Buchholtz
Round 1:
I hope Danzig wins.  Let's make this exciting.  Pleassse?
Mom says "That boy in the black tights doesn't kick much does he?" hahahaha...
My 6 year old is rooting for "blue tights man"
Danzig rocked.. Nooo!
"Well that's not very nice, he was kicking with his leg"
"I agree Mom, it's much nicer when they kick with their hands..." hahahaha
::clack::clack::clack::

Round 2:
Dishing out snacks, come on over!
My cat Gertrude is hogging Josh.  I am not impressed. 
Mac Danzig took him down.  We need more of that.
Noooo... crankin on the shoulder of Danzig.  I don't like this!
::phew:: Well that was a premature phew, it almost happened again.
BEAT THE HELL OUT OF HIM DANZIG!
CHOKE HIS SHIT, SNAP SOMETHING!
Damn, that excitement is over.
::clack::clack::clack::

This is not my happy face.  My darling Jonny Jones got DQ's for those elbows.  Mayhaps some consistency would be nice...

Round 3:
Stuffing my face.  This chicken wing dip is wonderful.
Danzig is dominating... woot!
For once I agree with the stand up
Danzig still looks fresh.  I'm lovin this!!!
UP THE BUTT CHOKE!!! But it doesn't take. 
Darn it, but I think Danzig won.
::clack::clack::clack::
My Mom is so silly:
"Are the even allowed to do that?  He's choking him.  Do they agree to do that???" Yeah Mom, they do, it's a submission. "Well that seems to be in bad taste.  He is fighting dirty.  That doesn't seem fair."

Unan. Decision (29-28) Danzig!!!!

Serra vs. Trigg
I am very excited for this fight, enough of this jabber, let's get to the beatin'!
Trigg has sexy eyes.  Aw, he's not a baldo.  I kinda  like him with hair, it's a nice look for him.
Oh no he di'int... Rocky Bitches!!
Joshy and I are sitting here all adorable cleaning our glasses together.  We're bonding.

Round 1: 
Serra looks like I photo shopped him to be shorter than he actually is.
And my stupid cat is back... On an unrelated note, where her tail meets her back is baldo, it's pretty funny.  Now back to the fights...
ROCKED!
TRIGG IS KTFO!!
Wonderful!  I am so happy to see that!  Serra just gave a shout out to his little girl... awwwww...
Done at 3:26 of the first round.  Rock.
"I have a feeling there is a big bowl of pasta on the plate tonight" WTF Goldie??

Maia vs. Miller
Represent Whippany... Suburban Propane headquarters are there.  Just so you know.
Dan Miller has chest fuzz.. ::purrrrrrr::
So I think Dana should get some Suicide Girls to be Octagon Girls
Round 1:
Holy bammin Maia...
Rogan called the Millers "savages".  Wow.  Drama King.
Miller we taken down but managed to get up.
Nut shot!!!!!
::clack::clack::clack::
Round 2:
Maia is supposed to be a sub. specialist, but he is rockin the standup tonight.
I'm kinda bored here.  Maia is def. winning.
I want to see someone get subbed.
::clack::clack::clack::

Joe said "potty mouth" I am in love. 
Where is Chuck's mohawk???

Round 3:
Josh loses.  Maia didnt' win in second round.
Maia is on the ground, I think he skilled.
Now Maia has Miller on his back.  Maybe I will get my sub after all...
And Miller is up.
And Down.
::yawn::
"The odds of catching Demian Maia in a submission are about the same as getting hit in the head with a meteor... not so good"  Good analogy Rogan.
::clack:clack::clack::

Maia via una decision.
PS: This is his first win in the UFC not by Submission

It looks like the UFC has gotten on board with Google Earth, this is quite the teaser for upcoming fights.  I think my daughter may have sumbled on some of those locations today when she was playing on Google...

Stann vs. Davis
Round 1:
Stann is a bit spaztic
Davis is wearing pampers, whats up?
Stann did a superfanduper job at not getting taken down...
Davis had a nice takedown.  Right into side control.
Stann has just about gove up his back
RNC anyone?? Nope, Stann flipped to his back.
RNC again???
::clack::clack::clack::
Phew that was close

Round 2:
Davis with the kick kick kick
Davis with the takedown
Davis has mounted Stann. Uh oh.
Stann is flatened out... again. Deja Vu.
Davis is dominating, let's just end it already.
Huge knees from the top from Davis. That looks painful.
::clack::clack::clack::

Round 3:
Davis takes Stann down again.  Big surprise!
There really is no need to report on this anymore.  Davis is just dominating.
He dominates the ground, the stand up, the everything.
::clack::clack::clack::
Wicked arm bar, but no tap....
Unan. Decision Davis

Swick vs. Thiago
Let's hope this is a quick one.  I want to see devistation.
Round 1:
Swick is such a lanky fella.
Swick looks like a kitty batting at a feather.
Thiago has some pretty impressive kicks.
I am sooo stinkin tired.
Swick takes it to the ground...
::clack::clack::clack::

Round 2:
Swick gets knocked down and choked out  by Thiago.
Swick is sleeping!!!
Finally, there is my submission!

I am done posting tonight.  Too... tired... to... type...